What ticks you off

During Dinner, I had this conversation with DL about people overstepping their boundaries, especially friends and work. First of first, I'm all about the camp where we giving people chances because we are all learning and we are all human. No human is perfect. This I understand entirely and you will find that I am a very very very kind person by nature.

BUT if you are going to be the sort who will point fingers and attack (me),  especially after I have pushed myself to extend every bit of myself to be hospitable, kind, friendly, sugar, spice and everything nice...

Have faith that I''ll find a million arrows to launch back at you until you repent, apologise or disappear from the surface of the earth.
How nice I can be.. is merely a reflection of how Un-Nice I will be when triggered or met with people who take advantage of my kindness.

So the saying goes "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" this theory applies for people who have not only overstepped  boundaries, transfer their weight on my toes and counter blame me for the error.
I will hunt you, I bite you, and fling you around by the neck like a dog with it's kill instincts
(If you'll see how some dogs would ripped stuffed toys into fluff in just seconds that's just their killer instincts overriding their cuteness in every little fluffy doggles that you meet)
Well I'm just that sort of girl if you ever work me up into an anger.
*glares*

I will bypass every kind vein in my body, and have you ripped you apart, and mourn for your death when I'm done being angry.
Amen.

Sure I dont actually murder people in reality. But I will cut a person off completely from my life until I've found it within myself to forgive and be a peace with the matter/person.
Forcing me to surpress my anger just fuels the anger and frustration of the matter.

I mean WHAT is so difficult in just agreeing that a person's fucked up right?
Who's perfect anyway?
Obviously if I have taken offence in the matter, then the best way to placate me is to let me have my say in whatever the matter is right?

Nope.
In any case le bf refuses to accept the fact that I have been hurt/ wounded by said person during our discussion and he thinks that I'm over reacting and being dramatic as usual.
I refused to be caught in the middle babe.
I hate people who sit on the fence. Right is right. Wrong is wrong.


But That's alright.
It's just me against the world by myself.
Not like I've never been in situations alone that way...
I started young by the way.. when mom sent me to school and I constantly got bullied at 3 years old?
I learnt not to be a pushover, and By 5, I was girl boss in class.
#NoBigDeal

*yawn*
Who needs a guy to who would say "dont worry, I've got your back"

the crux of it all in the discussion is 天塌下来老娘自己学着顶， 顶不到at most 自己Gameover.
That's the rule of engagement isn't it?
Hahahaha. :D



ANGRY ENFP

My obsession with Hotpot.

Mommy's Pre Birthday dinner conversation by random....

Daphne: We had Hotpot for Supper yesterday night as I was really hungry from Dance Prac....

Le Brother: Wait didn't you have hotpot for dinner the other day when you brought back the Stuffed toy(s)?
Daphne: *goes into deep thoughts*
Dilun: Come to think about it, from Friday to friday (7 days) you ate Hotpot for 5 days.

Daphne: Really?

Friday - Kelvin, CY, Dilun Daphne - Shi Li Fang@ Thomson, I brought home a cat/tiger looking toy for Trixie.
Saturday - Thai food at Orchard Tower with Lulu, Hanwei, Dilun because Raw prawns is yummy!
Sunday - Post Dance practise at SMU, as usual I was starving after all the physical stuff from practise, and city hall was too crowded.... We (Dilun and I ) escaped to Kallang Mall for Sukiya Hotpot..
Monday - Met Claudia for Dinner and was raving to her about how the boys brought me to Shi Li Fang and how I scored the toy... We did it again :D
Tuesday - Valda, Jas, Queenie for dinner at Hai Di Lao.
Wednesday - Walked the dog to "fetch" dinner from Holland Village
Thursday - post practise binge eating, we had hot pot at Bugis because I'm a hungry girl.
Friday - Mom's pre birthday dinner at Little Diners (Today)


Indeed 5 / 7 days of Hotpot dinner.
Mom didn't even bat her eyelids.

If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, this would be it.
HOTPOT FTW

It has been a life long relationship with Steamboat, only that I have taken this week waaaaaaaaay too far by eating it 5 days in a week. :D
Strange how I did not even notice it, until Le brother mentioned it.

oops

Strange Dreams

I guess I might be a little "over" lately.
Been getting strange dreams.


Dream1
I dreamt that I had to use a pair of scissors to chop off entirely, Just one side of my hair.
It was in a tangled mess and specifically I chopped off only the right side of my hair with those cheap stationary scissors.
Avant Garde trending soon Maybe?
If this is how trends might work, we should try 4D numbers soon k.


Dream2
I dreamt that all my colour pop lipsticks melted from the heat of the sun.
OMG!
Does this mean I'm too obsessed with my Colorpop much?

On a side note, reality speaking, the pink fuchsia ones (not withstanding to colour pop only) ALWAYS get into accidents more. #truestory
I'll open up and they'll flop

I guess my nightmare sparked from my recent "almost" lipstick accident.

Dream3
I stared at my toes and they were not my current toe colour.
In fact it was a hideous shade of blue that I absolutely hated, and it was all melting off; as if I have just dipped my foot or emerged from a pool of acetone.

I've been in love with my chrome powder nails, and everyone knows it.
But I highly doubt i'll be obsessed to a point where I'll be dreaming about them, especially my toes?
Unless it's my brains complaining that the toes haven't had as much attention as my fingers, considering that they're equally gorgeous.
OMG so much bimbo talk filling up in this space..


I have always been vain, therefore I highly doubt my recent dreams has anything to do with aesthetics or self confidence or whatever.

Most weirdly, I don't ever dream, or remember dreams.
This is what puzzles me more... why do I have weird dreams? Is it a sign? If so..what is it?
Hahahahha
Maybe I'll open a nail parlour, hair salon or makeup shop?
Then again, over working and giving yourself treats might have caused this.
Hmmmmm

#sleepdeprived

Growth Chart

Random Fact of the day.


The nail of the index finger grows faster than that of the little finger.
The human nail grows at an average rate of 3mm a month.

Did you know that?
I didn't.

Having read that, I whipped out my ruler and got my nails checked.
Mine seems to be growing at 1mm a week, and it is not even my index finger that I am talking about!


Going back to this blogging business before I got distracted by my nails, I marvel back at the journey that I have taken in the course of my life (to date). I shan't go too far back into history to bore people.

The past two - three years has seen plenty of ups and downs of life, very often involving the leap of faith.
Letting go was one of the best decisions that I have made, not because I gave up like a loser, but rather because I knew that I have already pushed for my best, and the results weren't ever going to show.

Many would say that I have been a fool in wasting too much time, pushing things to the the edge before I have made final life altering decisions.
But I would say that I'm glad I spent the time pushing for things to happen, before I let go.
For I know that I will never look back to ask if I could have done it any better , should I have the ability to turn back time.

Sure we might say that if given the opportunity to turn back time, we might have deployed a different set of reaction/decisions and the outcome might change.
Well well well. Have you ever tried playing puzzle games, where you are stuck at level 1241 for the longest time, and you've tried 234873948 combinations to get past to the next stage and it just doesn't happen?
Sometimes life is just that.. you pass that difficult stage because its the right time, the right algorithm whatsoever.

I digress too much.
It's been slightly over 2 years.
There is a kind of gladness that I have to know that DL has always been a good source of support for me in ways more than I can ever describe.
Surely without having to go through what I went through, I would not have learnt to realise or appreciate the goodness that I have in my life now.

There's a certain type of stability that I have always yearned for that he naturally provides. Perhaps that's exactly the magical compound that our chemistry thrive on.

Sure, there might be days where he would do shitty stuff to trigger an entire complex chain of reactions that is somewhat deeply rooted down to complexities that I have yet to fathom, but most days when we aren't at war, we're good.

I have never realised how quickly time passes
Gravitating back to my nails as an analogy,
based on how quickly my Gelish manicure is growing out, i contemplated just how much nails I have chucked out in this lifetime (creepy!)

Wham!  It's one of those days where you realise how much you've grown as a person.
as a girlfriend, as a daughter, as a human (to the dog). And literally as a human being, a living creature. What more about the quantity of nails you have trimmed off, and chucked away? :D

We learn to rise whenever we fall. In it we sharpen and hone our tenacity in the task and obstacles set in front of us.
We grow emotionally to cope better, even when we are facing adversity
We learn to be more calm and collected even when annoying people hurl remarks that are below the belt that makes you wonder - would you, could you, ever bring yourself to say such stuff in the first place,?

Are these people just being frank or am that I'm just a big faker who's obsessed with being Politically polite when I choose to exercise control and refrain instead of matching their tone and groove to their beats?

Well good news to these filter free people is that  Yeah... some insults do get to me, but honestly nothing a good cry cannot solve, as we learn and get reminded that time tick tocks on,
Whereby life goes on as surely as how the sun will rise,  where seasons will change and so on.

I would like to think that I have been placed in this earth to live my life, and in my life I will continue to find new meanings in my existence; to try to be the best version of myself that I could possibly will, my intent to be.

at 5am in the morning, in a semi sleepy state of mind my only thoughts pertaining to this
are excerpts taken from the movie Cinderella.
She's probably my top 3 favourite princess as a kid, in terms of her personality and life choices.
She does make a lot of sense (if you can view past the fairy, the magikaboola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo part). In it,  there is a lot of lessons that we can keep towards our approach in everyday life)

For starters,  "Have courage and be kind " - this is probably the best known quote in the movie

“Just because it’s done, doesn’t mean it should be done.”- on how we shouldn't stoop to their level, no matter how low some people might be.

“To be seen as we truly are, is the biggest risk we will ever take. 
Will we be enough as we really are?”  - I sure hope so.

“I forgive you.” - Forgiveness sets us free and lets love all the way in. You must forgive all of the pain and sorrow that brought you to this moment; that brought you to love again.
This I'm learning to do so.

If we could all view things with kindness and to our best intent, the world might already be a better place to live in.

He who is dandruff free #ThingsmyBFsay

At the vet for Trixie's allergy problems

Vet: You can use this shampoo brand called "Cil Pro" for her....

BF: Silk pro? I use that too! :D

Me: *face palm*

No not silk pro la! Wah lau!

Vet: I will give you a prescribed shampoo for now, and if you want to remove the flakes in her skin, you can add in a few drops of "Head and shampoo"

Us: Head and shoulders, ok got it.

------

Supper time, Le boyfriend suggested that we would dine at Swee Choon, and later swing by Mustafa to get em, Head and shoulders.

I love how he's quick to respond with the shopping list all the time, because I cannot be bothered unless its urgently meant for me. 

In the land of everything (Mustafa), the shelf - yes the entire shelf was filled with Head and shoulders.

As we stood in awe wondering which "flavour" to get for Trixie, I asked aloud... should we get the sensitive scalp one or the lavender one for Trixie? I hate mint, so no mint...

and all these time, Le bf was like in serious studying mode telling me " no..dont want.."

I was puzzled and stared on wondering what's wrong with either sensitive scalp care or lavender?

It's gonna be a little weird if I were to get head and shoulders Extra Volume or Head and Shoulders for men right? 

*visualising a volumised fluffy Trixie running about like a poodle*
or worst!

those men range are for people who are in gender crisis...battling their masculinity and stuff...plus Trixie's a girl...*rolls eyes*

After what seem like an eternity of staring at the shelf of Head and Shoulders.... and he's still dissatisfied at the shelf full of Head and shoulders..

I finally asked him impatiently. 

What exactly are you looking for???

I mean, its just shampoo, and if he really wanted some sick scent I'm not exactly gonna fight with him about it, because its for the dog? I doubt Trixie really cares if she's gonna smell like roses, lavender, green apple or mint.

He replies..anti dandruff...

Me: ????? whut?

BF in a serious concerned voice says " anti dandruff, i'm looking for the anti dandruff ones for Trixie. They don't seem to have the dandruff ones though."

I clutched onto the side of the wall for support when I heard his reply.

Errrps... the entire head and shoulders range IS ANTI DANDRUFF! what are you talking about?

I wanted to cry because he's super serious about it :(

The Bf contemplated my words and says dead seriously "no leh, the different flavours are for different use, there has to be an "anti dandruff" range for the dandruff suffers."

I really wanted to rage that moment when he replied me with disbelief, because le gf is always right.

*ahem*

almost immediately he said

"oops I just saw the fine print on all the bottles" 

It printed anti-dandruff shampoo on ALL the bottles.

Now we're talking. :/

As I redirected him back to my initial suggestion of "sensitive scalp or lavender?"

He says laughingly : smooth and silky? Volumising?

I raised my eyebrow and we went home with sensitive scalp care eventually. 

As of this post, it has been 3 days and Trixie hasn't showered yet, because procrastination is real.

#thingsmyBFsay

Jump!

Ahhhh sunday afternoons be like this...

How ENFP reacts and deals with stress

I came across this link  on how each Myers- Briggs type would react to stress on Facebook earlier, and I thought its worth filing it here... in case you know for personal reference :D
For the full list of 16 personalities... click on the link alright.

ENFP – The Inspirer

What stresses out an ENFP:– Environments where rules are rigidly enforced ✓
– Focusing on repetitive, detailed tasks ✓
– Having to focus too much on sensory details
– Having to focus too much on the past or present
– Not being able to use their intuition ✓
– Constraints on brainstorming or envisioning ✓
– A lack of outside stimulation ✓
– Being micromanaged ✓
– Having creativity stifled ✓
– Having to complete projects before they’re ready ✓
– Criticism ✓
– Lack of appreciation ✓
– Having their values violated ✓
– Overextending themselves for others ✓

ENFPs tend to overextend themselves, and procrastinate, which is often a source of stress as it complicates their lives. When they become stressed, their naturally charming natures become more irritable and over-sensitive. When stressed, ENFPs feel alienated and engage in deceptions to obscure what is occurring within themselves. They will feel that they are losing control over their own independent identities and feel conflicted by intruding circumstances. During continued stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted sensing. When this happens, they become obsessive and depressed. They will become hyper-aware of minor bodily sensations or abnormalities and interpret them as a sign of a serious illness. They may have a hard time communicating clearly, and feel numb and frozen inside. Their thinking may become cloudy and convoluted. They will feel that there are no possibilities or ways out. They may feel overwhelmed, out of control, unable to sort out priorities, and thus become inflexible. Some become obsessive about record keeping, cleaning, or other household tasks.

How to help an ENFP with stress:– Give them space and time alone to sort out their feelings. ✓
– Remind them that they are able and competent.
– Give them permission to “escape” ✓
– Don’t give them advice. It won’t help right now. ✓
– Don’t ask for details. ✓
– Don’t try to “fix” the problem. ✓
– Meditation often helps ENFPs ✓
– Listen to them. ✓
– Encourage them to exercise
– Encourage them to get enough sleep ✓✓
– Encourage them to get a massage ✓✓
– Be warm and kind in the way you speak to them ✓✓
– After they’ve calmed down a little, ask them if they want help evaluating the situation. ✓

On blogging; a million years later

I have not been writing much here lately.

In my head, there is an entire list of stuff that I would like to write about..
off hand, I had a list to check off one by one...
Taiwan trip in March
Phuket trip in May
Taiwan trip in July
All that skincare/makeup/facemask that I stock up like mad all the time..
Activities with friends, new places discovered.
Pictures all stored up in my laptop and mobile phone... they are potentially stories untold.

I used to fancy writing about my life quite a bit, and yet the inertia sets in..
and I hope this is not a growing up phase that I'm progressing into... if it is, I'll really get a little sadder.

Perhaps it is precisely because I'm (trying to be) a little more grown up now, I'll chide myself into using the extra time to clear off one more box off my to-do checklist.. instead of writing, like the frivolous Daphne would used to do with her time.

Right. Lets set this straight, it's not like I'm super efficient with utilising my time now or something.
I'd say that its a lot closer to the feeling of guilt.

Guilty that I spent too much time writing about myself, my life, my whims, my fancies, like a self-centred girl (*ahem* Mind you, I still am very self-centred), instead of doing something more productive that would help with the business, or spend with the dog, or cleaning out my room...and many more..

I placed myself on a writing ban - just because productivity, Daphne.
Productivity.

Just the other night, I spent 3 hours writing an email on behalf of Trixie, just to enter the dog into a charity photo shoot contest for adopted/fostered dogs that a friend tagged me to.
When I was done with the email, I was horrified to discover how much time was spent, just writing THAT email on behalf of my pet dog.
Yet deep down, I felt a kind of Happy that I have forgotten.
The forgotten feeling on how it has felt, after a long while, and probably something that I would allow myself to do so...once in awhile.

It's roughly categorised into the kind of happy that I could immerse myself into doing, that has no intrinsic value of sorts to my life in general.

Considering the fact that, I am not paid to write nor blog about anything.
Along with my questionable grammar and language faux pas that the BF critiques on...
Nah.

I did it because I enjoyed it.
I did it because I wanted to.

The same goes to those art projects that I used to enjoy...
creating random bag, skirts, tops, accessories and all.

spending 3 hours hand hemming my dress because I found it therapeutic, instead of taking it out on the sewing machine...

Changing my nail colour and design every other week...

Fixed up a hair vine for my cousin in law's wedding photoshoot because I wanted one after watching an inspiring hair tutorial and ended up with sore fingers...
This was the mock up of my sparse hair vine just to see how it turned out.
I shall fix up the finished product and photograph it another day!

Those fleeting moments of exhilarations that truly made me happy, are activities that I (sort of ) imposed a restriction on,  just because I believed that I should use it on something else that has more worth to it.

As much as I sounded like I've become an activity Hitler on my daily life, I've also taken on simpler and less time consuming projects such as sketching, colouring, improved my photoshop skill level.
Sure, my PS skills have definitely upped many levels since I started blogging in 2007 where I relied heavily on fancy brushes to create cool picture effects to be used as my Display Picture and stuff.

I can somewhat make people a little skinner, change their posture, fix their make up (kind of), clean up the skin.. I can even "remove" braces off someone's teeth..but no one's gonna know, because I've stopped posting pictures here now, and really those are for work more than for personal consumption.

I'm still fabulous you know? Who needs photoshop?
*flicks hair*

Lol.
Turns out, I do still rely on using photoshop for all my cool couple pictures with the Bae!
We shot these separately and he picks his favourite shots, while I pick mine, and viola...
Happy lee is happy!

oh and there's all that sketches, in case anyone actually thinks that I've turn into a stale and boring Daphne..
I'm Still very much alive on instagram!
It's taken over into my "short" blog of sorts pictorially.

Here we go! Snippets of my random fashion and sketching projects for the heck of it!

Ending it off here with a picture of Trixie and I doing the #ootd.
It's also my subtle way of saying: Yo Bitches, I'm back!
Lol

Taking life where it leads you.

Have you ever wondered if you're coursing through life right at where you need to be at, or are you merely bumbling through life as it is..

Of late I have been feeling the latter.
Perhaps inertia, perhaps a change of heart, perhaps the change in direction, or perhaps its just time.
Undecided as it is, this is my last quarter tasked out before I make my choices.

As time ticks the answers to my questions seems clearer to me, almost waving to me.
I dread what the last quarter of the year may bring forth, for sentimental sake, but as I have always said...

a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

If its time, its time.
For a resolution that I have made, I can only pray that I find my new direction in life soon, and in the meantime work on my restlessness.

But I trust that I am always in the right time and at the right place just because I have always been well taken care of.

~peace

Unicorn and rainbows

Oh Hello there.
It's been awhile since I've posted anything.
Posting this awesome paw some unicorn picture that I've stumbled upon earlier...

and my infinite obsession with rainbows, sprinkles, unicorns and more...

I also need this in my life!


A unicorn mobile charger.
My bag of random treasure is screaming to say hello to it as soon as I can lay my hands on it!
Note to self to find time to swing by shop to grab it soon!

#MyOhSoImportantThingsInLife

Super Soul Sunday

I've taken to watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on Youtube, and I'd say it seems to be speaking to me as zenly as I'd like things to be.

Summing up the first quarter of 2016

I noticed that this space here has been rather dead lately, and the boyfie made a passing remark about this dead space here...


I have not been much in the mood to post up here, and figured that I would eventually find time to do so (I hope), so tonight's the night where I am full of blabber..

2016 has been good this far..
with plenty of weddings within the family

March saw us through 3 weddings.
In July, there will be another 2 weddings to attend to,
December 1 wedding.

My cousins/family friends are all getting hitched in the same year!
Goodness!

Weddings aside,

 It's time for Timeline fillers, the first quarter of the year vaguely goes like this:

January 
New Year Celebration
Spent my eve with Claudia over a nice quiet dinner, as we explore the coming year with a  
mixture of work and life to come for 2016, and I met DL for a count down at Marina
Square facing the floating platform for my favourite fireworks and hotpot supper after!

I started the first hour of the year stuffing myself. Auspicious or what?

             
Chinese New year Celebration
The usual fan fare of relative visiting, since parents are both the middle kids.
This is officially our first year of visiting without daddy around.
It is funny how much difference a year on actually feels.
Nothing is quite the same, but yet life goes on.
I guess it really gets easier as time creeps on..

February 
Birthday celebrations starts!
Da started hers with a pool side celebration, and I received an early surprise party from Claudia, over at Kelvyn's place with Dilun as the accomplice on the pretext of a CNY gathering.

Unlike my social butterfly sister, I usually prefer mine to be a closed and quiet affair, so the build up events towards actual day was just plenty of dinner and stuff with close friends!

Every birthday in my recent years, I am reminded about how blessed I am to be my mommy's daughter, all the love I have been bestowed by my family, friends, and spoilt further by the boyfie.
I am indeed blessed + my smelly Trixie Wixie who loves me with all her heart.. just because she always gets food from me?
Hahahah


March
Taiwan!
Holidays are always happy days!
It was a fairly good birthday trip.
I started my first minute in Taiwan drowning my phone and camera upon disembarking the plane.
It was a disaster fishing out my wet toys out from my bag.
My heart sank like titanic, when I discover that both my toys are 1 step away from the grave.

I'll leave the actual Taiwan post for another post, when I feel like being extra hardworking about posting pictures in here.

I'd just say that I ended the trip a very happy girl.
WE bought extra luggage weight, and we were still 8kg overweight.
I reckon my 60 pieces of face mask was part of the reason...along with all the black sugar cubes that I bought as souvenir...
We were very lucky that we got away with the excess 8kg baggage.
YOLO!
---
April 
The month of YOLO
It is quite a depressing month being home bound after a 9 day vacation.
I tried to increase random new activities to feel little more motivated about life!
In it, I went for a couple of new achievements that I set out for myself..

Change my hair style ✓
I gave myself a hair cut on a whim and fancy, Chopped off half my hair's length because I needed a perk me up to feel better about my post holiday depression.
Besides it has been years, since I last changed my hairstyle.

Picked up Kizomba ✓
Attended Azlan and Mabel's weekend Kiz workshop, and in the dance frenzy process I got myself 2 pairs of new dance shoes..and I am pondering on whether I should customise the third pair... because customise is always more swag right?

Depressing as April may sound, I actually ticked off 2 of my resolution checklist this month!

I have also tried Canvas painting at Arteastiq, and the completed painting is now sitting on the wall looking a little odd in my room.

This pretty much sums up what I have been up to.

Trixie on the other hand, decided to YOLO as well.
She snuck out of the house, and went on a lift adventure alone, and got lost for approximately 15- 20 minutes?
My mother lost her, and found her before I could even reach home to organize a search party.
Thankfully for friendly and useful neighbours!

xoxo

Here's to 2016

In a blast, it really IS 2016!
Happy new year everyone!
I ended my year with Claudia over a yummy lip smacking dinner at Miam miam..and the Boyfee brought me over to Marina area to watch the New year Fireworks!
My love for fireworks... it's a good start!
I am happy, in more than just words can describe.

I spent a lot of time eating, socialising, sleeping and just reorganising my thoughts for 2015, and the intended changes and life directions to be in 2016.

For starters, I CANT WAIT FOR THE FRIGGIN POOL TO BE RE-OPENED.
Plenty of delays and I am sure upset with the contractors.
From the promised September, to late October, to Christmas and now they are saying January.
Lao niang is not pleased!
Off with their heads!

I miss swimming. ALOT.
Its practically like the only exercise that I would do, without much thoughts.
Hmmm I might be a mermaid~
As it is, my swim suits barely recognise me anymore. :(

They opened up the house Gym as a replacement fat reducing venue.. well, it totally isn't my cup of tea.
I'm learning to appreciate it, but I do not like machines, metals, loud clanking noises in general.

Half the time, I am sprawled on the floor doing floor exercises (which I enjoy more.. than prancing around on the treadmill), besides, mirrors are distracting!
Hair needs to bounce correctly when I'm treading the treadmill. Otherwise, displeased.
ARgh.
I think I used the gym 5 times in 2015.
Maybe I'd do better and utilise the gym 6 times in 2016.
Hurhurhur.

In the span of my lazy sloth-like festive week, I have already reorganized my accessories cupboard, they currently look like an accessory shop that can rival Lovisa or Accessorize.
Threw out old paper stuff that I no longer needed, and went through the cheap thrill of flipping through old magazines that I exist in (I know... i'm such a has been... not! Lol), and wondered why I always look so awkward in photos.

Did A LOT of face masking, because I bought 3 boxes of face mask before Christmas, and received a dozen of mask as gifts..and so happy to say that I will look glowing awesome in 2016!
It also means that everyone sort of know what a vain, vain, vain pot I am.
Oops.

---

In my focus on self, these are some project that I intend/ have already started working on for the coming year.

There will probably be ONE dive trip.

More attention to my nails (It's a hobby that I wish to reconnect with, after a year of negligience. super uncreative paint job)

Drastic Change to the hair.
I'm almost done being Rapunzel, prolly after another self - dye job just for the kicks of playing hair technician. :D

Le Boyfee plans to bring me to Taiwan.. still waiting for the plane deals to surface! :D

Dance a little more! (than I did in 2015)

Take the sewing machine out to create stuff!
It's been neglected for a really long while.
I usually make do with hand sewn alterations / project, just because Lazy.

Be a little fitter physically (If only the pool would cooperate!)

Clear out my wardrobe, and not be a softie with my clothes.
I love love love all my clothes, new, old, and antique!

Eat less!

Spend more time with mommy, family and Trixie.

In a contradicting statement, to be less perfectionist in some ways, and harsher on myself in other ways.
Lol.

Spend more time reflecting on self actions, give gratitude for the blessings that I have received, and be a better person.
This is an ever green goal for life.

There!
It's quite a hefty list of things to focus on, yah?

Cheers!

Nostalgia

Before I know it, Christmas is nearing.

It is funny how each year would pass so quickly, and how much changes a year can bring about.

December has always been a month of nostalgia for me.

The jingles..

The pretty decorations..

The frantic shopping..

The friends...

Time spent with family and friends...

I cannot bear for the season to pass.

It is as if, the calendar hits into christmas season, everything would speed up so very quickly,
Next thing I know, I would turn into a year older.
Not forgetting the feeling of being less accomplished in what I have set myself to achieve year after year. After all, time waits for no man.

Then again, December, January, February.

These are truly my favourite months, before everything crawls really slowly through the year without much special festivity that truly makes me feel nostalgic.

Sometimes, I wish for time to pass quickly, and just sometimes, I wish to slow down the favourite moments.

If only.

Addadress Christmas edition logo says hi, just for the month of December.
:)

what's your fashion style?

I stumbled onto this fashion style sorting quiz site labelled What is your style type?
In just 10 questions, they managed to figure out my style just like this.
How awesome is that?

According to the quiz, i'm..
10% Classic
10% Chic
30% Whimsical
30% Bohemian
20% Avant Garde

All these years, I have been struggling within, to describe my style, and this website did it effortlessly.
Impressive.
I struggle, because I firmly believed that I'm a little of everything - which technically kinda makes me a shape shifter/ chameleon right?

There's probably one more combination that the website failed to capture...
my penchant for the retro pin up era / shanghai tang look just to add to my whimsical quirk look.

Alright, adios for now!

Off days

I pushed myself pretty hard at work, the past week. 

Off the record, I try to do work everyday,

Even if it's weekends, it does wonders to counter inertia for me. 

Today happens to be one of those "off" days. I woke up, slothed around, and didn't manage to accomplish anything in particular.

Checked email..

Had lunch.. 

Mostly pastries from PS cafe with complements from Le boyfriend. 

Bread... Sweet things... Salty things...

Felt oozy, and fell back asleep. 

Pastry coma?

InWoke up in the evening and rushed out of the house to run some errands that I haven't gotten round to. 

Besides walking off the afternoon sleep,  seems like a good idea. 

Rushed out together with le boyfriend, and he applauded me for my record time. 

10 minutes to make up, dress up and leave the house.

Ooh I hate that sort of feeling. 

I'm typically the 2 hours, walk around and take my own sweet time sort of girl

As I hit the malls, the realization hit me on my feet.

Le sigh

How and why is it that I only notice my footwear after I set foot into Ion orchard? 

Errr.. Luckily they were both silver? 

And the flatties are of the same height. 

Well I got myself new footwear and went about with my business.

That is to Walk off all that energy, and to do some shopping.

Well that must have worked. 

I reached home and fell asleep AGAIN. 

Work up to roast some chicken, ate it up, and kept dropping stuff (food) on the floor, and bumping into things randomly in the house.

The dog is happy tonight from random food scraps on the floor. 

Luckily, damage wasn't so bad, as she's the sort that ask for permission before she attacks food that lands on the ground.

In anycase, I figured that today's klutz day is really my brain's way of declaring that it needs a break. 

And now it's time for bed, and when I wake up, it's back to "on" days please! 

Goodnight.

Behold the toothpaste!

I woke up this morning and the boyfriend announced to me fairly pleased, in his I warned you about it yesterday face...

"There's no more toothpaste."

"I've squeezed the last bit of it onto my toothbrush" with a slightly smug serious face.

He proceeds to show me the 'remnants' of the tube of toothpaste displayed on his toothbrush.

I'm hardly a morning person. 

Retrieving a new box of toothpaste takes up too much of me. 

Like seriously. 

In my head, The extra 30 steps to the store and the 30 steps back to room is too much for me to handle.

As I picked up the old squeezed out tube and peered into the tube to assess the situation, DL said... "Why don't you believeeee meeee? "

I looked at him with my best morning disdainfully disbelief look, unscrew the dispensing cap of the tooth paste, and 

Squeezed out double the amount (of what he had) onto my toothbrush and laughed.
"look, more than yours!" with a smug smiley face..."

We laughed and now he thinks I'm some stingy crazy slave driver that doesn't even let the toothpaste hold onto its last bit of its content.

I conclude Toothpaste utility skill

Daphne 2 : Dilun 1

*clapclapclapclap*

Hahaha. 

Never underestimate the power of laziness. It really does trigger some really critical thinking. 

Besides those frugal lifestyle hacks circulating on Facebook does come in handy. 

I just sent this picture to DL while he's at work. 

Behold the toothpaste! 

Boyfriend isn't impressed. 

Whats your anger type?

So I got mad today.

I took this anger quiz just for curiosity's sake, and here's my answer.

True enough that does sound like me.
I probably did mention some post ago, that I have a tendency to internalise whatever that makes me unhappy.

So when I think I've had enough, I'll just say my piece..bade adios, walk away and never look back.
Logically, many would think that attempting to cut ties with a person, is more of a verbal threat in coming to a resolution more than anything else.

But not for me. If something that makes me unhappy is keeping me weighted down, why not cut loose, break free and fly free?


I'm not heartless.
I'm just cleaning off unwanted emotions away from my life.
After all, I restore myself when I'm alone ~Marilyn Monroe

Cutting ties never seem to be difficult for me, especially if I'm convinced that the problem is never going to be solved after several attempts.
It is a bigger relieve to drop it, walk away and start anew.

There you go, you can call me heartless.
But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Diving

I went diving recently.
Diving has been an activity that I feel pretty neutral about.
Not particularly yay! not particularly nay.

Pre diving beliefs.
I am a firm believer that nature should always be left on its own and preserved that way.
Perhaps you could say that I have been brought up to be a conservationist by my frugal mommy.
Conserve water, conserve electricity, do not waste money, do not waste food blahblahblah.

On another context of conserving. I like my belongings clean.
Pristine condition is probably the better word.
I believe that when I take good care of my stuff, my stuff would in turn take good care of me.
I guess it's my personal OCD to make sure that my belongings look exactly like when I first bought it, even if its 10 years old or something. Objects have to go, because they deteriorate naturally, not because I lose interest in them.
This theory holds, even if the item doesn't belong to me. See my white macbook story here and here.
Which is why I hate the idea of sharing. After all, my notion of taking care of belongings does not equate to other people's version of taking good care of their belongings.

In truth, I get mad at my friends, when I see them mistreating their belongings. Ooops.
I do tell them off!

Anyway. My take on nature is simple.
The lesser people dive, the better marine life would thrive.
Humans, so it seems - are damn good at messing up the environment.
We deplete our natural resources, kill forest, destroy the ocean with oil spills, wrecks, adventures, and litter... Ahh so many to list out...and the creatures living in these natural environment, are often affected by our selfish actions.

With regards to diving in particular.
One person less in the ocean, will probably do the marine life a lot of good in my own word.
So my take on diving is NO. I will not pollute the ocean unnecessarily.

I shared this theory with Claudia years back, when she asked if I would consider taking up diving.
She asked, because she had just returned from her Open water course, and was relating to me about her experiences and we left it as that.

---

Years later, le boyfie is a diving enthusaist. He asked if I would consider taking up diving.
Nope. nilch. Nada. No.

Hello! Conservation theory still stands.
Love does not mean that I give up my principals okay!
But it is also about giving and taking.

For the love of the ocean, le boyfie gave up eating sharks fin.
I think he probably didn't like it much to start with. Hurhurhur.
That is what he does, to protest against the cruelty of the shark.
His stand on conserving the marine life.

I'm a foodie. My dad raised me up on sharks fin being one of the yummiest food in the chinese world of noms.
Special days of rewards means bringing the family out to enjoy good food.
In return, I do my part on keeping the ocean free of Daphne Lee.

How is one action better or worst than the other.
I don't know. It's debatable.

I'll probably still consume sharks fin and still dive down to meet them in time to come.
It's like staring at the chicken pecking the ground and eating it the next minute in my chicken hotpot (yeah this happens in China - I hear my chicken dying before it gets served to my table).
Life has to go on.

All changes starts with me.
we are all advocates of something in this life time.
But I still need to eat just because I need to eat.

Too much side tracking. Sorry!
---

April 2015

I believe in being evergreen.
That we truly stop living when we stop changing ourselves.
Taking up new skills, opening up to new activities, changing a personal style, accepting something new in my life.

The gang decided to spam our group chats with diving trip and the ADEX convention was on going.
Le boyfie was telling me that he would accompany me on my dive lesson if I choose to take it up.
Le claudia was virtually nodding her head separately in my personal chat with her on the phone about me taking up diving with the group.
Le Daphne was thinking, life is short. Change quota needs to be upped. If dad can die singing KTV. I can die eating sharks fin.
Let's go and kill some corals, change the PH levels of the sea and learn a new skill.

That's how I did it.

Hahaha.

Mermaid Achievement unlocked.
Would I be a diving enthusiast now?

Not really.
In hard times, Imma migrate to korea and be a diver auntie and start selling fresh abalones
to be cooked in porridge okay.
That was my exact words after I suited up before heading out to the sea.
Lol. Im not sure if my instructor was amused or not.
I say the weirdest things sometimes.

Comeon!
Haenyeos are totally my heroine when I travelled to Korea at 5 years old.
It was freezing cold in the winter, and they could still bring themselves to jump into the sea to get fresh seafood on my table.
Doesn't help that my dad dramatised everything.

I wasn't always a foodie. In fact I was one of the pickiest eater ever!
I survived the entire korea trip living off instant cup noodles every meal.
Kimchi? No.
ginseng chicken? No.
cold ikan bills? No.
Pickled radish? OMGeee No!
Back then, korean food tasted putrid to me.

Hahaha.
That aside, that bowl of abalone porridge that I ate in that trip.
Most. delicious. thing ever eaten for the entire week.
Hurhurhur.

Diving journal started out like this.
*cricket chirps*

With such gorgeous legs developed from the lessons... I don't even know where to start liking the activity.
My expression hovered between smile or cry...
Picture says it all..

That yugly leg tan aside, water lessons went pretty well for me.

After all, I never had issue with water.

Pool at home is 2 metres deep, and as a kid I was always throwing things into the deep end of the pool, and dive deep, retrieving objects like a water dog according to mommy, and sitting like a buddha under water with Da and attempting to sit and balance on our swimming boards...somersault into the pool and whatever I could think of every possible weekend ever.

I waded through childhood as a tanned scrawny kid with goggle tan marks on the eyes.

The diving downsides for me, would be all the weight that I had to carry. 

My tank is about 15 kg. 

Buoyancy vest... weight belts 2lb x 4 (~4kg?)

that's approximately an additional close to 20kg.

I could barely stand on my feet with all that weight! Talk about walking!

Rwarrr!

I'm in pink hair strap!!! I'm the only girl in our noob group.

that's Kelvyn, Kangwei and Ramzie if you can spot who's who.

Pictures courtesy of my 24/7 boyfie.

That's what my diving instructor refers to DL. :)))))))))))))

---

Kelvyn's camera captured all of us after our "n"th ascend.

I'm still a happy bird despite the mark on my forehead, with a new friend featured in the background.

She's the first friend that I've met who has the exact same operation scar as me! Talking about coincidence! 

Our first couple picture under water!
Seriously with all that equipment on my face, this picture could be anybody!

Le boyfie kept to his word and accompanied me on my first ever dive trip in the open sea!
He reminded me that I was darn lucky to meet a sea turtle on my first dive.
*flicks hair*
With beginner's luck, "we" apparently spotted a shark - but it went into hiding. So on the record, I really only saw a turtle feeding in a bed of corals.

That's me finning around with my dive buddy. Captured by MF's go pro.

My pink power ranger suit was super easy to spot. Awesome.

After my weird tan line fiasco... nothing. NOTHING. Not even funky colour suits is going to stop me from getting a proper full body one!

My gloves are lovingly sponsored by DL, to ensure that accident prone Daphne, doesn't end up getting cuts - in the event that I could not control my buoyancy and smash into sea urchins or something. :/

Groupfie / wefie

This marks the end of my first dive trip, glad that it is with the friends.

Looking forward to more happy times ahead with them!

Resentment.

Had a good chat with le sister a couple of days ago, and one thing led to another - and we started on the topic of RESENTMENT.

Which is a pretty good topic.

I did some light googling, and in the psych site point of view, it says:

Resentment refers to the mental process of repetitively replaying a feeling, and the events leading up to it, that goads or anger us.

In resentment, it excludes the cool facts and in it, we re-experience and relive them in ways that affects us emotionally, physiologically and spiritually in very destructive ways.
The inability to overcome resentment probably contributes to the disintegration of intimate connection with family, friendship or even a loved one.

The dictionary states that
Resentment is a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear.
As the surprise of injustice becomes less frequent, so too does anger and fear fade - leaving disappointment as the predominant emotion.


---

We caught the cartoon "inside out" recently, as part of the mother's birthday celebration programs.
In it, le boyfriend made an interesting observation that each character's emotion is led by a different leader.

In the case of Riley, the young girl - hers is Joy.
While her mom's emotion leader is sadness, and while her dad's emotion leader is Anger.

Which leads to the question of what is your emotion leader?

I thought about it and .... I have yet to conclude.
The sister said mine could possibly be Anger, or Disgust.

I thought about it.
Anger - yes. I am an angry person by nature.
I was angry about many things.
About the way things are - I hated the conventional way of how things are.
How the society places a high emphasis on grades, schools, climbing up the corporate and social level.

I hated being compared to. etc

Disgust seems to be best friends too - anger and disgust seems to be a fine line.
I get disgusted by people's behaviour, lack of ethics, lack of character etc.
It goes hand in hand in the dirty business of being caught in the rat race.

I probably did mention this in passing, but over the years, I did work on Anger a lot, and let my anger take a back seat.
I tried to work on being a happier person, and a more positive version of myself.
Yet, if I were to honestly ask myself, I would not say that my emotional leader is Joy.
I would probably say that by not allowing myself to "explode" whenever I am unhappy about matters.
In short, I suppress and internalize my anger.

In anycase, It's waaaaay too complicating to analyse ME.
---

Going back to the topic of Resentment.
Perhaps, resentment is a better word to describe, and in it, I'm making conscious effort to figure out my trigger, and progress to let go of it. I'm still making time to understand myself, and working on it, and in turn - work on my anger.
After all, awareness is the mother of first steps in making changes.

According to the guide, and reading up on what it says,
Some I'll agree, and some does not make sense to me.... but since I'm writing it out for sharing, here it goes!

10 Steps to Letting Go of Resentment

1. Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is.
2. Realize that you are using resentment to replicate old dramas and acknowledge that you cannot change the past.
3. Examine how your resentment may come from mentally confusing people in your present life with people from your past. 
4. Acknowledge that you cannot control those who have rejected you.
5. Recognize that your resentment gives you only illusions of strength. Instead, highlight and validate your real strength and power.
6. Learn to identify signals that provoke resentment. Apply the acronym HALT, widely used in 12-step programs: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
7. Practice cognitive behavioral techniques to stop indulging in resentment. Put a thought between your feelings of resentment and indulging in ruminating about them.
8. Acknowledge your part in allowing the abuse to occur, forgive yourself for that, and make a decision to not let it occur again.
9. Declare an amnesty with the person you resent and with yourself.
10. Forgive when you can, and practice willful and deliberate forgetfulness when you cannot, keeping in mind that these acts are gifts to yourself rather than capitulation to the people you resent.

Hopefully this is useful.

and til my next realisation, time for me to get back to work!