Tomorrow.

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Hearing the news of Daddy, my world sort of crashed.
I was the one who received the news.
The one who last saw him last month.
The last to say goodbye to him on the phone on sunday and I'm sorry that I didn't tell him more while I still could.

My dad passed away on 11 november around 2.30am.
He had a heart attack while he was out with a few of his friends, in China.
the past week has been a mess. 

Between frantically trying to make my way over to China, pacing at the airport, eventually the multiple trips back and forth to the authorities, mortuary, and daddy's apartment. 
Everything seemed to me a blur.

It's been slightly over a week since he left us, and there's so many regrets left and so much angst. 
Why did he have to leave so soon
Why couldn't he have lived longer ~ to enjoy the fruits from my labor?
I needed time, but time wasn't in my favour.

I resent.
but yet I can only force myself to believe.
It's really hard to find faith at such trying times, but yet the amount of hands that reached out to me in my time of need is incredulously well timed.
Ask and you shall be given.

I find consolation that daddy's in good hands, and he's in a better place now.
Creepy as it might sound, and I'm not delirious (yet!), but daddy told me he's alright, and he could still joke about it.

Perhaps that's the only reason why I'm holding up so well to date, because I know he's still with me, and like I said, he's being taken care of.

In the span of days of my dad's demise, my family and I has been well taken care of by friends and family. 
For this, I will be eternally grateful to all of them, for reaching out to us in our troubled times.

Relatives that supported and helped in every way that they could, and even flew over to be with us.
My friends who offered to fly over to China, just to offer support and help, and those that stayed with me at the wake every day/night. 
The number of bubble teas and food that I've received to cheer me up in the span of 3 days is insane. 
From what I heard, we're probably the first wake to ever serve bubble tea to friends on venue.  *laughs*
The texts, calls and emails that I've received from friends and family to check if I'm alright.
I know I'm loved. I know everyone cares for me.

The list of stuff that I need to accomplish for daddy seems daunting, but I'm my daddy's daughter. I'm his little warrior.
I will solder on, I will survive, I will flourish.

I miss him, but I won't forget what I need to do.
My dad lives in me, and I will continue his legacy in my own ways, 
just because its what I have to do, and that's what he wanted me to do too.

It'll probably take a while for me to bounce back, but baby steps is good.

One of my last few proper pictures of myself, taken with daddy that I'll always treasure.
I miss you, daddy. I'm sorry I couldn't do more.