It's holiday, and i should be jumping around feeling overjoyed
but, why do i feel so lousy instead?
Not that i've got nothing to do...but i chose to sit around and mop in depression.
Meeting friends seemed alittle meaningless to me recently, and i've been neglecting i know...
I can't fathom myself, and i've been dwelling alot on the negative stuff that had happened to me,
I can't help wishing that some stuff never happened, but yet i can't escape reality.
Especially the reality of HER existance.
Something in me keeps telling me that she's back, back in my life, the life that i treasure so much, but yet im helpess.
Helpless to stop her from intruding. I can't help wishing her dead.
I wished he'll be more transparent, and more truthful with me, about everything.
Yet once again i'm helpless, wallowing in despair, dreading the thought of all the lies and deception that awaits me.
How do i break away from my dark thoughts? How long more, before i do actually break down? I hate to put up a brave front, just to make everyone but myself feel better.
