A Sunday afternoon with Zoe proved to be bad for the bank account. We met up, hung out at Bakerzin, indulged ourselves, went shopping and i easily spent slightly less than $200 today.
I bought shoes, bags and a culotte, and i just purchased a new ribbon top online. They are so cute!!!! Zoe bought this cute peasant dress. Of course it's not all leisure, we did source for potential sponsorships everytime we enter a shop that looks rather enticing and hopeful. Haa!
I'll be off to Blitz again tomorrow, to get my hair color changed. Whoo pee!
During my endless chatters with Zoe, it dawned upon me that im not done with my lesson on expectations yet. My expectations for my closed ones, friends whom i rely heavily on, as well as Boo.
As most would probably realise, im pretty much a friend snob, with exceptionally high expectations of those surrounding me, and the most recent Myers Briggs Type indicator test that i took, would double confirm that i am exactly the type that expects people to know what im thinking of.
I have no patience for those who're dumb, and unable to comprehend my train of thought. Yep it's so true! Yup, i'd dare say that those who surrounds me have been highly trained in the art of guessing what moody Daphne wants.. Hahah!
Now back to the expectation part. On my way home post shopping binge, I thought to myself that it's important for me to learn to juggle my expectations.
To have high expectations of my circle of trusted, i'll get really shattered, should they fail me in any event, coz they're supposed to be the ones who knows me best, the ones whom i rely heavily on, the ones who will protect me, when im in trouble or depressed. The ones whom i share my deep darkest secret with.
To lower, or to have no expectations of my circle of closed ones, it'll mean that i'll have lost hope in them, generally giving up on them, coz they are no longer worth my time, my effort and most importantly Trust. Just like the show "meet the parents" The circle of trust is everything to me, so in any event if the trust is broken, it will absolutely hurt badly.
Which, back to my point of juggling expectations, would be very important to safeguard my emotions, my pride and my sanity. But how? How is one able to juggle?
At the moment, the easiest and surest way would be like the ancient weighing scale. Add on bit by bit, til it balance.
To learn to trust people bit by bit. They'd lose points if they hurt or betray me, but i wouldnt be too eager with the rewarding or adding up either.. (as im neither generous nor impractical. Face it, i've got a damn good memory, with the exception of exam or school related subjects, so it's impossible to forget a bad day)
Yup it's an unfair world out there, and many would probably point out to me that i'm impractical with my expectations, but at the end of the day, i am my very own judge, with my own set of harsh rules and expectations. I'll adjust them after each bitter lesson learnt.
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