Taking life where it leads you.

Have you ever wondered if you're coursing through life right at where you need to be at, or are you merely bumbling through life as it is..

Of late I have been feeling the latter.
Perhaps inertia, perhaps a change of heart, perhaps the change in direction, or perhaps its just time.
Undecided as it is, this is my last quarter tasked out before I make my choices.

As time ticks the answers to my questions seems clearer to me, almost waving to me.
I dread what the last quarter of the year may bring forth, for sentimental sake, but as I have always said...

a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

If its time, its time.
For a resolution that I have made, I can only pray that I find my new direction in life soon, and in the meantime work on my restlessness.

But I trust that I am always in the right time and at the right place just because I have always been well taken care of.

~peace

Unicorn and rainbows

Oh Hello there.
It's been awhile since I've posted anything.
Posting this awesome paw some unicorn picture that I've stumbled upon earlier...

and my infinite obsession with rainbows, sprinkles, unicorns and more...

I also need this in my life!


A unicorn mobile charger.
My bag of random treasure is screaming to say hello to it as soon as I can lay my hands on it!
Note to self to find time to swing by shop to grab it soon!

#MyOhSoImportantThingsInLife

Super Soul Sunday

I've taken to watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on Youtube, and I'd say it seems to be speaking to me as zenly as I'd like things to be.

Summing up the first quarter of 2016

I noticed that this space here has been rather dead lately, and the boyfie made a passing remark about this dead space here...


I have not been much in the mood to post up here, and figured that I would eventually find time to do so (I hope), so tonight's the night where I am full of blabber..

2016 has been good this far..
with plenty of weddings within the family

March saw us through 3 weddings.
In July, there will be another 2 weddings to attend to,
December 1 wedding.

My cousins/family friends are all getting hitched in the same year!
Goodness!

Weddings aside,

 It's time for Timeline fillers, the first quarter of the year vaguely goes like this:

January 
New Year Celebration
Spent my eve with Claudia over a nice quiet dinner, as we explore the coming year with a  
mixture of work and life to come for 2016, and I met DL for a count down at Marina
Square facing the floating platform for my favourite fireworks and hotpot supper after!

I started the first hour of the year stuffing myself. Auspicious or what?

             
Chinese New year Celebration
The usual fan fare of relative visiting, since parents are both the middle kids.
This is officially our first year of visiting without daddy around.
It is funny how much difference a year on actually feels.
Nothing is quite the same, but yet life goes on.
I guess it really gets easier as time creeps on..

February 
Birthday celebrations starts!
Da started hers with a pool side celebration, and I received an early surprise party from Claudia, over at Kelvyn's place with Dilun as the accomplice on the pretext of a CNY gathering.

Unlike my social butterfly sister, I usually prefer mine to be a closed and quiet affair, so the build up events towards actual day was just plenty of dinner and stuff with close friends!

Every birthday in my recent years, I am reminded about how blessed I am to be my mommy's daughter, all the love I have been bestowed by my family, friends, and spoilt further by the boyfie.
I am indeed blessed + my smelly Trixie Wixie who loves me with all her heart.. just because she always gets food from me?
Hahahah


March
Taiwan!
Holidays are always happy days!
It was a fairly good birthday trip.
I started my first minute in Taiwan drowning my phone and camera upon disembarking the plane.
It was a disaster fishing out my wet toys out from my bag.
My heart sank like titanic, when I discover that both my toys are 1 step away from the grave.

I'll leave the actual Taiwan post for another post, when I feel like being extra hardworking about posting pictures in here.

I'd just say that I ended the trip a very happy girl.
WE bought extra luggage weight, and we were still 8kg overweight.
I reckon my 60 pieces of face mask was part of the reason...along with all the black sugar cubes that I bought as souvenir...
We were very lucky that we got away with the excess 8kg baggage.
YOLO!
---
April 
The month of YOLO
It is quite a depressing month being home bound after a 9 day vacation.
I tried to increase random new activities to feel little more motivated about life!
In it, I went for a couple of new achievements that I set out for myself..

Change my hair style ✓
I gave myself a hair cut on a whim and fancy, Chopped off half my hair's length because I needed a perk me up to feel better about my post holiday depression.
Besides it has been years, since I last changed my hairstyle.

Picked up Kizomba ✓
Attended Azlan and Mabel's weekend Kiz workshop, and in the dance frenzy process I got myself 2 pairs of new dance shoes..and I am pondering on whether I should customise the third pair... because customise is always more swag right?

Depressing as April may sound, I actually ticked off 2 of my resolution checklist this month!

I have also tried Canvas painting at Arteastiq, and the completed painting is now sitting on the wall looking a little odd in my room.

This pretty much sums up what I have been up to.

Trixie on the other hand, decided to YOLO as well.
She snuck out of the house, and went on a lift adventure alone, and got lost for approximately 15- 20 minutes?
My mother lost her, and found her before I could even reach home to organize a search party.
Thankfully for friendly and useful neighbours!

xoxo

Here's to 2016

In a blast, it really IS 2016!
Happy new year everyone!
I ended my year with Claudia over a yummy lip smacking dinner at Miam miam..and the Boyfee brought me over to Marina area to watch the New year Fireworks!
My love for fireworks... it's a good start!
I am happy, in more than just words can describe.

I spent a lot of time eating, socialising, sleeping and just reorganising my thoughts for 2015, and the intended changes and life directions to be in 2016.

For starters, I CANT WAIT FOR THE FRIGGIN POOL TO BE RE-OPENED.
Plenty of delays and I am sure upset with the contractors.
From the promised September, to late October, to Christmas and now they are saying January.
Lao niang is not pleased!
Off with their heads!

I miss swimming. ALOT.
Its practically like the only exercise that I would do, without much thoughts.
Hmmm I might be a mermaid~
As it is, my swim suits barely recognise me anymore. :(

They opened up the house Gym as a replacement fat reducing venue.. well, it totally isn't my cup of tea.
I'm learning to appreciate it, but I do not like machines, metals, loud clanking noises in general.

Half the time, I am sprawled on the floor doing floor exercises (which I enjoy more.. than prancing around on the treadmill), besides, mirrors are distracting!
Hair needs to bounce correctly when I'm treading the treadmill. Otherwise, displeased.
ARgh.
I think I used the gym 5 times in 2015.
Maybe I'd do better and utilise the gym 6 times in 2016.
Hurhurhur.

In the span of my lazy sloth-like festive week, I have already reorganized my accessories cupboard, they currently look like an accessory shop that can rival Lovisa or Accessorize.
Threw out old paper stuff that I no longer needed, and went through the cheap thrill of flipping through old magazines that I exist in (I know... i'm such a has been... not! Lol), and wondered why I always look so awkward in photos.

Did A LOT of face masking, because I bought 3 boxes of face mask before Christmas, and received a dozen of mask as gifts..and so happy to say that I will look glowing awesome in 2016!
It also means that everyone sort of know what a vain, vain, vain pot I am.
Oops.

---

In my focus on self, these are some project that I intend/ have already started working on for the coming year.

There will probably be ONE dive trip.

More attention to my nails (It's a hobby that I wish to reconnect with, after a year of negligience. super uncreative paint job)

Drastic Change to the hair.
I'm almost done being Rapunzel, prolly after another self - dye job just for the kicks of playing hair technician. :D

Le Boyfee plans to bring me to Taiwan.. still waiting for the plane deals to surface! :D

Dance a little more! (than I did in 2015)

Take the sewing machine out to create stuff!
It's been neglected for a really long while.
I usually make do with hand sewn alterations / project, just because Lazy.

Be a little fitter physically (If only the pool would cooperate!)

Clear out my wardrobe, and not be a softie with my clothes.
I love love love all my clothes, new, old, and antique!

Eat less!

Spend more time with mommy, family and Trixie.

In a contradicting statement, to be less perfectionist in some ways, and harsher on myself in other ways.
Lol.

Spend more time reflecting on self actions, give gratitude for the blessings that I have received, and be a better person.
This is an ever green goal for life.

There!
It's quite a hefty list of things to focus on, yah?

Cheers!

Nostalgia

Before I know it, Christmas is nearing.

It is funny how each year would pass so quickly, and how much changes a year can bring about.

December has always been a month of nostalgia for me.

The jingles..

The pretty decorations..

The frantic shopping..

The friends...

Time spent with family and friends...

I cannot bear for the season to pass.

It is as if, the calendar hits into christmas season, everything would speed up so very quickly,
Next thing I know, I would turn into a year older.
Not forgetting the feeling of being less accomplished in what I have set myself to achieve year after year. After all, time waits for no man.

Then again, December, January, February.

These are truly my favourite months, before everything crawls really slowly through the year without much special festivity that truly makes me feel nostalgic.

Sometimes, I wish for time to pass quickly, and just sometimes, I wish to slow down the favourite moments.

If only.

Addadress Christmas edition logo says hi, just for the month of December.
:)

what's your fashion style?

I stumbled onto this fashion style sorting quiz site labelled What is your style type?
In just 10 questions, they managed to figure out my style just like this.
How awesome is that?

According to the quiz, i'm..
10% Classic
10% Chic
30% Whimsical
30% Bohemian
20% Avant Garde

All these years, I have been struggling within, to describe my style, and this website did it effortlessly.
Impressive.
I struggle, because I firmly believed that I'm a little of everything - which technically kinda makes me a shape shifter/ chameleon right?

There's probably one more combination that the website failed to capture...
my penchant for the retro pin up era / shanghai tang look just to add to my whimsical quirk look.

Alright, adios for now!

Off days

I pushed myself pretty hard at work, the past week. 

Off the record, I try to do work everyday,

Even if it's weekends, it does wonders to counter inertia for me. 

Today happens to be one of those "off" days. I woke up, slothed around, and didn't manage to accomplish anything in particular.

Checked email..

Had lunch.. 

Mostly pastries from PS cafe with complements from Le boyfriend. 

Bread... Sweet things... Salty things...

Felt oozy, and fell back asleep. 

Pastry coma?

InWoke up in the evening and rushed out of the house to run some errands that I haven't gotten round to. 

Besides walking off the afternoon sleep,  seems like a good idea. 

Rushed out together with le boyfriend, and he applauded me for my record time. 

10 minutes to make up, dress up and leave the house.

Ooh I hate that sort of feeling. 

I'm typically the 2 hours, walk around and take my own sweet time sort of girl

As I hit the malls, the realization hit me on my feet.

Le sigh

How and why is it that I only notice my footwear after I set foot into Ion orchard? 

Errr.. Luckily they were both silver? 

And the flatties are of the same height. 

Well I got myself new footwear and went about with my business.

That is to Walk off all that energy, and to do some shopping.

Well that must have worked. 

I reached home and fell asleep AGAIN. 

Work up to roast some chicken, ate it up, and kept dropping stuff (food) on the floor, and bumping into things randomly in the house.

The dog is happy tonight from random food scraps on the floor. 

Luckily, damage wasn't so bad, as she's the sort that ask for permission before she attacks food that lands on the ground.

In anycase, I figured that today's klutz day is really my brain's way of declaring that it needs a break. 

And now it's time for bed, and when I wake up, it's back to "on" days please! 

Goodnight.

Behold the toothpaste!

I woke up this morning and the boyfriend announced to me fairly pleased, in his I warned you about it yesterday face...

"There's no more toothpaste."

"I've squeezed the last bit of it onto my toothbrush" with a slightly smug serious face.

He proceeds to show me the 'remnants' of the tube of toothpaste displayed on his toothbrush.

I'm hardly a morning person. 

Retrieving a new box of toothpaste takes up too much of me. 

Like seriously. 

In my head, The extra 30 steps to the store and the 30 steps back to room is too much for me to handle.

As I picked up the old squeezed out tube and peered into the tube to assess the situation, DL said... "Why don't you believeeee meeee? "

I looked at him with my best morning disdainfully disbelief look, unscrew the dispensing cap of the tooth paste, and 

Squeezed out double the amount (of what he had) onto my toothbrush and laughed.
"look, more than yours!" with a smug smiley face..."

We laughed and now he thinks I'm some stingy crazy slave driver that doesn't even let the toothpaste hold onto its last bit of its content.

I conclude Toothpaste utility skill

Daphne 2 : Dilun 1

*clapclapclapclap*

Hahaha. 

Never underestimate the power of laziness. It really does trigger some really critical thinking. 

Besides those frugal lifestyle hacks circulating on Facebook does come in handy. 

I just sent this picture to DL while he's at work. 

Behold the toothpaste! 

Boyfriend isn't impressed. 

Whats your anger type?

So I got mad today.

I took this anger quiz just for curiosity's sake, and here's my answer.

True enough that does sound like me.
I probably did mention some post ago, that I have a tendency to internalise whatever that makes me unhappy.

So when I think I've had enough, I'll just say my piece..bade adios, walk away and never look back.
Logically, many would think that attempting to cut ties with a person, is more of a verbal threat in coming to a resolution more than anything else.

But not for me. If something that makes me unhappy is keeping me weighted down, why not cut loose, break free and fly free?


I'm not heartless.
I'm just cleaning off unwanted emotions away from my life.
After all, I restore myself when I'm alone ~Marilyn Monroe

Cutting ties never seem to be difficult for me, especially if I'm convinced that the problem is never going to be solved after several attempts.
It is a bigger relieve to drop it, walk away and start anew.

There you go, you can call me heartless.
But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Diving

I went diving recently.
Diving has been an activity that I feel pretty neutral about.
Not particularly yay! not particularly nay.

Pre diving beliefs.
I am a firm believer that nature should always be left on its own and preserved that way.
Perhaps you could say that I have been brought up to be a conservationist by my frugal mommy.
Conserve water, conserve electricity, do not waste money, do not waste food blahblahblah.

On another context of conserving. I like my belongings clean.
Pristine condition is probably the better word.
I believe that when I take good care of my stuff, my stuff would in turn take good care of me.
I guess it's my personal OCD to make sure that my belongings look exactly like when I first bought it, even if its 10 years old or something. Objects have to go, because they deteriorate naturally, not because I lose interest in them.
This theory holds, even if the item doesn't belong to me. See my white macbook story here and here.
Which is why I hate the idea of sharing. After all, my notion of taking care of belongings does not equate to other people's version of taking good care of their belongings.

In truth, I get mad at my friends, when I see them mistreating their belongings. Ooops.
I do tell them off!

Anyway. My take on nature is simple.
The lesser people dive, the better marine life would thrive.
Humans, so it seems - are damn good at messing up the environment.
We deplete our natural resources, kill forest, destroy the ocean with oil spills, wrecks, adventures, and litter... Ahh so many to list out...and the creatures living in these natural environment, are often affected by our selfish actions.

With regards to diving in particular.
One person less in the ocean, will probably do the marine life a lot of good in my own word.
So my take on diving is NO. I will not pollute the ocean unnecessarily.

I shared this theory with Claudia years back, when she asked if I would consider taking up diving.
She asked, because she had just returned from her Open water course, and was relating to me about her experiences and we left it as that.

---

Years later, le boyfie is a diving enthusaist. He asked if I would consider taking up diving.
Nope. nilch. Nada. No.

Hello! Conservation theory still stands.
Love does not mean that I give up my principals okay!
But it is also about giving and taking.

For the love of the ocean, le boyfie gave up eating sharks fin.
I think he probably didn't like it much to start with. Hurhurhur.
That is what he does, to protest against the cruelty of the shark.
His stand on conserving the marine life.

I'm a foodie. My dad raised me up on sharks fin being one of the yummiest food in the chinese world of noms.
Special days of rewards means bringing the family out to enjoy good food.
In return, I do my part on keeping the ocean free of Daphne Lee.

How is one action better or worst than the other.
I don't know. It's debatable.

I'll probably still consume sharks fin and still dive down to meet them in time to come.
It's like staring at the chicken pecking the ground and eating it the next minute in my chicken hotpot (yeah this happens in China - I hear my chicken dying before it gets served to my table).
Life has to go on.

All changes starts with me.
we are all advocates of something in this life time.
But I still need to eat just because I need to eat.

Too much side tracking. Sorry!
---

April 2015

I believe in being evergreen.
That we truly stop living when we stop changing ourselves.
Taking up new skills, opening up to new activities, changing a personal style, accepting something new in my life.

The gang decided to spam our group chats with diving trip and the ADEX convention was on going.
Le boyfie was telling me that he would accompany me on my dive lesson if I choose to take it up.
Le claudia was virtually nodding her head separately in my personal chat with her on the phone about me taking up diving with the group.
Le Daphne was thinking, life is short. Change quota needs to be upped. If dad can die singing KTV. I can die eating sharks fin.
Let's go and kill some corals, change the PH levels of the sea and learn a new skill.

That's how I did it.

Hahaha.

Mermaid Achievement unlocked.
Would I be a diving enthusiast now?

Not really.
In hard times, Imma migrate to korea and be a diver auntie and start selling fresh abalones
to be cooked in porridge okay.
That was my exact words after I suited up before heading out to the sea.
Lol. Im not sure if my instructor was amused or not.
I say the weirdest things sometimes.

Comeon!
Haenyeos are totally my heroine when I travelled to Korea at 5 years old.
It was freezing cold in the winter, and they could still bring themselves to jump into the sea to get fresh seafood on my table.
Doesn't help that my dad dramatised everything.

I wasn't always a foodie. In fact I was one of the pickiest eater ever!
I survived the entire korea trip living off instant cup noodles every meal.
Kimchi? No.
ginseng chicken? No.
cold ikan bills? No.
Pickled radish? OMGeee No!
Back then, korean food tasted putrid to me.

Hahaha.
That aside, that bowl of abalone porridge that I ate in that trip.
Most. delicious. thing ever eaten for the entire week.
Hurhurhur.

Diving journal started out like this.
*cricket chirps*

With such gorgeous legs developed from the lessons... I don't even know where to start liking the activity.
My expression hovered between smile or cry...
Picture says it all..

That yugly leg tan aside, water lessons went pretty well for me.

After all, I never had issue with water.

Pool at home is 2 metres deep, and as a kid I was always throwing things into the deep end of the pool, and dive deep, retrieving objects like a water dog according to mommy, and sitting like a buddha under water with Da and attempting to sit and balance on our swimming boards...somersault into the pool and whatever I could think of every possible weekend ever.

I waded through childhood as a tanned scrawny kid with goggle tan marks on the eyes.

The diving downsides for me, would be all the weight that I had to carry. 

My tank is about 15 kg. 

Buoyancy vest... weight belts 2lb x 4 (~4kg?)

that's approximately an additional close to 20kg.

I could barely stand on my feet with all that weight! Talk about walking!

Rwarrr!

I'm in pink hair strap!!! I'm the only girl in our noob group.

that's Kelvyn, Kangwei and Ramzie if you can spot who's who.

Pictures courtesy of my 24/7 boyfie.

That's what my diving instructor refers to DL. :)))))))))))))

---

Kelvyn's camera captured all of us after our "n"th ascend.

I'm still a happy bird despite the mark on my forehead, with a new friend featured in the background.

She's the first friend that I've met who has the exact same operation scar as me! Talking about coincidence! 

Our first couple picture under water!
Seriously with all that equipment on my face, this picture could be anybody!

Le boyfie kept to his word and accompanied me on my first ever dive trip in the open sea!
He reminded me that I was darn lucky to meet a sea turtle on my first dive.
*flicks hair*
With beginner's luck, "we" apparently spotted a shark - but it went into hiding. So on the record, I really only saw a turtle feeding in a bed of corals.

That's me finning around with my dive buddy. Captured by MF's go pro.

My pink power ranger suit was super easy to spot. Awesome.

After my weird tan line fiasco... nothing. NOTHING. Not even funky colour suits is going to stop me from getting a proper full body one!

My gloves are lovingly sponsored by DL, to ensure that accident prone Daphne, doesn't end up getting cuts - in the event that I could not control my buoyancy and smash into sea urchins or something. :/

Groupfie / wefie

This marks the end of my first dive trip, glad that it is with the friends.

Looking forward to more happy times ahead with them!

Resentment.

Had a good chat with le sister a couple of days ago, and one thing led to another - and we started on the topic of RESENTMENT.

Which is a pretty good topic.

I did some light googling, and in the psych site point of view, it says:

Resentment refers to the mental process of repetitively replaying a feeling, and the events leading up to it, that goads or anger us.

In resentment, it excludes the cool facts and in it, we re-experience and relive them in ways that affects us emotionally, physiologically and spiritually in very destructive ways.
The inability to overcome resentment probably contributes to the disintegration of intimate connection with family, friendship or even a loved one.

The dictionary states that
Resentment is a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear.
As the surprise of injustice becomes less frequent, so too does anger and fear fade - leaving disappointment as the predominant emotion.


---

We caught the cartoon "inside out" recently, as part of the mother's birthday celebration programs.
In it, le boyfriend made an interesting observation that each character's emotion is led by a different leader.

In the case of Riley, the young girl - hers is Joy.
While her mom's emotion leader is sadness, and while her dad's emotion leader is Anger.

Which leads to the question of what is your emotion leader?

I thought about it and .... I have yet to conclude.
The sister said mine could possibly be Anger, or Disgust.

I thought about it.
Anger - yes. I am an angry person by nature.
I was angry about many things.
About the way things are - I hated the conventional way of how things are.
How the society places a high emphasis on grades, schools, climbing up the corporate and social level.

I hated being compared to. etc

Disgust seems to be best friends too - anger and disgust seems to be a fine line.
I get disgusted by people's behaviour, lack of ethics, lack of character etc.
It goes hand in hand in the dirty business of being caught in the rat race.

I probably did mention this in passing, but over the years, I did work on Anger a lot, and let my anger take a back seat.
I tried to work on being a happier person, and a more positive version of myself.
Yet, if I were to honestly ask myself, I would not say that my emotional leader is Joy.
I would probably say that by not allowing myself to "explode" whenever I am unhappy about matters.
In short, I suppress and internalize my anger.

In anycase, It's waaaaay too complicating to analyse ME.
---

Going back to the topic of Resentment.
Perhaps, resentment is a better word to describe, and in it, I'm making conscious effort to figure out my trigger, and progress to let go of it. I'm still making time to understand myself, and working on it, and in turn - work on my anger.
After all, awareness is the mother of first steps in making changes.

According to the guide, and reading up on what it says,
Some I'll agree, and some does not make sense to me.... but since I'm writing it out for sharing, here it goes!

10 Steps to Letting Go of Resentment

1. Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is.
2. Realize that you are using resentment to replicate old dramas and acknowledge that you cannot change the past.
3. Examine how your resentment may come from mentally confusing people in your present life with people from your past. 
4. Acknowledge that you cannot control those who have rejected you.
5. Recognize that your resentment gives you only illusions of strength. Instead, highlight and validate your real strength and power.
6. Learn to identify signals that provoke resentment. Apply the acronym HALT, widely used in 12-step programs: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.
7. Practice cognitive behavioral techniques to stop indulging in resentment. Put a thought between your feelings of resentment and indulging in ruminating about them.
8. Acknowledge your part in allowing the abuse to occur, forgive yourself for that, and make a decision to not let it occur again.
9. Declare an amnesty with the person you resent and with yourself.
10. Forgive when you can, and practice willful and deliberate forgetfulness when you cannot, keeping in mind that these acts are gifts to yourself rather than capitulation to the people you resent.

Hopefully this is useful.

and til my next realisation, time for me to get back to work!

Weird people are weird

Meeting weird people often.

Is it me, or is it the same for everyone else?

Today's special, because I met 2 weirdos in a day.

I was on the bus home, and this Auntie, with plenty of shopping sat next to me.

She took up most of my seat with her marketing bags and it's alright. I'll live with it.

At my age, I'm totally used to my personal space being usurp by others when I'm seated on the bus, I stopped complaining about that. 

But this Auntie's special! 

She trapped me in my window seat, and started picking her nose the entire journey with her bare fingers!

Good lord! "Gold" digging is not the thriller, its how she sprinkles her "gold" dust like she's tinkerbell that's really gotten to me. 

From her fingers she'll sprinkle onto her overflowing shopping that really got to me.
It was a really intense excavation session there.

I swear I'll scream if her residue flicks or tumbles over to my end.

I wanted to offer her tissue, but the fear of her touching my fingers got the better of me... and I alighted screaming inwardly as I have to brush pass all her belongings when I got out of my seat. 

Ahhhhh! Ahhh!!~~~

I googled my phobia.
It's apparently called Misophobia, or Mysphobia - the fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.

It's nothing too serious, just that whenever I get into uncomfortable situations, I can see imaginary germs multiplying in my head.

How bad? you ask.

I'm not a fan of Barbecued food.

The visual image of raw food sitting in the ice box waiting to be BBQ-ed 

That's like Germ Fest. They multiply.

Especially barely cooked Chicken wings disguised as a very charred up wing. :/
The insides look a little bloody.

Not impressed.
I am alright if the raw meat gets plucked out from the fridge and gets cooked instantly though.
The need for a fridge, and running tap water is very important, in my world of food preparation.

Dead fishes and fresh chicken at the wet market, waiting to be bought...

Should totally see my face whenever I try to accompany mommy to the wet market.

I scream murder if the fish water plops onto me. Ermagawd!!!

I wanna dieeee.
I walk very very slowly, just so that there is no splashing involved... the hardwork fails when the hawkers stomp around in their rubber boots, the fish "water" gets onto my slippers. :((((((

Mom will make me wait at the dry parts of the wet market because I'm too drama for her.

These days, I just skip going to the market entirely. The brother has taken over on big occasions.
My hero.

hurhurhur.

And as a result, I rarely touch fish skin when it comes to eating fish.
Thats where all the bacteria hold their rave party at.
Venue: Fish skin.

Very mediocre bacterial analysis, I know.
Like I said, it's all in my head!
Lol.

Toilet gunk. 

The creepy stuff that creeps up in the wet parts of the bathroom. mold. Algae. 

Nightmares are made of that as well.

Dirty Sweaty people.

It's love, If I hug you sweaty, even if I do that with a :/ face.

Dead animals.
Having pets, means having to deal with dead bodies when they eventually pass away.
Thankfully, my brother and I have different phobias of our own.
He'll scoop them up and place them in boxes for me.
I'll transport them when the deed is done, and when the mobile crematorium people are here to collect the bodies.
I cannot bear to touch.
He cannot bear to deal with the weight of holding our be"loved" furrykins in his hands.

Fostering Tiger and his siblings, I made le boyfriend drive all the way over to my place, to pick silver's tiny body, when she passed away.
I left her at the back door of my place. Not that I don't love her.
Sleeping with a dead body in my room / house is too much for me to bear. As it is, I was already sad enough from her demise... bacterial thoughts doesn't need to haunt me to make me sadder.
Hahaha.

I got a little more pro, by the time I got through to Heather and Precious. I can't recall how I survived Hammie and Tauriel. Since the 5 of them were dropping like dead flies one after another.

Maybe because Claudia was with me when the last 2 passed on, and/or their bodies were still warm and soft, so I wasn't so bacterial phobic.
Well enough dead bodies in 2 foster cases.

---

Digress again!

Sorry.

Lunch today at Holland V,  I ordered drinks from my unusual drinks store, because le boyfriend says he wants Milo peng (Ice milo) to commemorate my unevenly tanned legs.

My drinks came up to $3.30

I had $4 in my hand, and I wanted to dig out $0.30 and the drinks auntie just yanked the two $2 bills out of my grasp.

That was rude.

Le Boyfriend said he would have asked for the money back just because money should not be snatched off. It has to be given.

Whatever la, I tolerate because I am in an okay mood today.
Besides, I'll just stick to the soybean drinks store, or the nice uncle who owns a schnauzer and loves Trixie whenever I bring her out for meals at the hawker.

---

I was hovering at Watsons, during their members sale.

The collagen strips that I usually consume is on sale!

I'm always half half about Collagen, because scientifically, there is no proven results about the effects it has on the skin. But since the ones that I bought are pretty tasty, I'll noms them whenever I remember to, like a sweet.

I was contemplating whether to try the Mango flavour ones for vitamin C, and the sales lady from the competitor booth informed me that one sachet a day isn't enough for our body's requirement.

I smiled back and went on with life.

She said that we'll need to take about 3-4 packets a day, in order to see results, and that hers was better Blah blah blah blah.

ONE

Never say whatever that I'm using isn't good.

I WILL DISLIKE YOU. Who doesn't?

TWO

I hate those powder packet thing. They taste terrible.

THREE 

I'm an independent shopper. I hate nagging people diverting my attention away, especially if I didn't ask for service help.

I buy what I want.

I buy as I intend to.

Hard selling tactics always go terribly wrong with me.

When I grabbed my stuff and was about to leave, she exclaimed very loudly "it's not enough!"

I was holding my tongue to not reply her

I wanted so badly to yell 

"REALLY?!" But i'm already 50 this year! This totally works!

and walk away just for the kick of it.

Obviously i'm not 50. But I just wanted to be sarcastic for the heck of it.

Alright I didn't retort.

The end.

Moral of the story is, sometimes life has a way of throwing weird challenges to you, just to help you work on your tolerance.

I salute people who can maintain smiley attitude, whenever the going gets tough.

I on the other hand, try to work towards that end goal, but end up shrieking here, just so that I can vent my frustrations.

Of course I receive a larger dosage of good service and chirpy people on my day to day life.
Life is good that way.

Happy friday!

treading down memory lane

It's one of those iponder sort of days, and I figured that I came a long way with this blog.
It has been slightly over 10 years, as I lay out bits of my life here.
I randomly clicked through old post, and it struck me how much I have changed over the years...
despite the fact that I insist. I am very much still the same ole Daphne.

I did so much growing up over the years, that often, I miss the laid back bummerina who is rather happy in her own little bubble.

Comparatively to the person that I have become in recent years,
I would say that my world has shifted.

Greater responsibilities - check! (I'm not quite sure about greater powers though..)
#punny #spidey
--
I become less self centred, and more people centric - I think!
But I am still very stubborn and am not easily coherced or swayed into group thinking.
I am still thick-headedly in love with myself.
--

I share less about myself online, than I did years ago.
Partly from writer's block, topic block - seriously its a fine line between over sharing my life,
and boring people about my life lately.

In sharing less about myself, I do feel less vulnerable in meeting or exposing myself to nonsense from people in general.
People who would abuse what I would write, and twist it into an entirely new plot.

I wrote something about being unhappy about my pigmentation a few post ago, and the next day I kana upsell left, right, centre, and down on some MLM skincare products.
that's it. I have enough!
*slams door*
seriously... its not up to anyone to talk down to me, just because I casually nitpick on myself.. its not an open license to address my issues to me.
If I did not ask you about it, I don't think your views matter to me.

In fact, if I counter pick, I doubt we'll still be friends after I'm done.
heheh..

--
I learn to "unfollow" people who do not value add into my life.

I try to open my world to the skies out there.
It seems to me that very little people are updating their blogs much.
Focusing a lot of Dayre, instagram.
I signed up for Dayre - but I can't bring myself to "report" what I did on a daily basis.
Even my own mom does not demand this of me, how can I.... do this online?
lol.

Instagram, however seem to have kept its foothold on me.
It's like a free subscription magazine for me with no limits, no censorship, visual fest I must say!
*sings a whole new world*
However, there is one big rule that I lay down strictly.
I do not follow my friends (with the exception of good friends, boyfriend, interesting friends etc)

Imagine having to scroll through Facebook to get myself updated, and opening up instagram to see the same set of stuff all over again.
*rolls eyes*
Why would I need to see something twice over?? crazy right..
The entire idea of social media is to entertain myself.
Not study my friends like a text book.
I'm not doing politically correct moves, just to please people.
I'm not fake that way.
But if my girls specifically request for me to follow them, I will.
I'm not a meanie. I understand that numbers matter to them for advertising purposes.

I Digress...

I speak Mandarin more fluently now - from my countless trips to China.
I scold people pretty well in my mother language, and I pick up new catch phrases while I'm there.
It still takes me a while to change back from language to language preference whenever I'm back.
It's not like I'm incapable of insta-switch. But speaking normally takes a while, change of lingo, attitude etc.
--
My hair becomes boring, my dressing becomes boring, my nails looks like shit half the time (because i used up my energy dust to focus on something else, rather than to have pretty nails every week now)
The nails thingie came from an observation made by Caroline.

I utterly surprised her with my chipped up nails when I met her for tea.
Compared to how I used to be back in SIM days - I'd say my nails are always pristine and freshly manicured with new design in the past.

Now, only when I'm up for it, or i'd just stick to french mani in loud, happy colours.

Wahhhhh I feel like an old hag, thinking about this.
:(


Spend less time playing and creating random craft projects...

well... I gave up some of my favourite stuff in exchange for other lessons in life...
like checking emails...
sending out packages for Addadress..
catch up on sleep..
spend proper time with friends and family and trixie
most importantly, keep up with the day dreaming.

Man without dreams, is like bird without wings.
I mentioned this in 2009 and 2014
Both were consistent in fretting about my career path and choosing the option of the less treaded path.

Some days, I wondered if I would be better off, taking up a normal job, drawing monthly salaries with limited worries.
The rest of the days, I'd be like Never!

As le boyfie points out to me...
waking up early to beat the morning traffic (to make it to office on time) will probably be my biggest motivation in doing what I do.
Fighting to squeeze into public transport, or beating the crowd, takes a huge toll on me...
my mood dips terribly, my energy level depletes tremendously, I get grouchy and scream at people.

Whenever I happen to be in train stations during rush hour, I'll always have the urge to take a picture of the over-pouring/overwhelming human moving along escalators, and caption
It's the end of the world! Run for your dear lives!!

Good lord.
I am thankful for what I have been tasked to do at this point in my life.

In a blink, it's approaching the end of the year.
Where have all the time gone? What have I accomplished?
I feel like a snail.

In about 2 more months, Daddy would have been gone for a year.
It does not feel like I've made much progress emotionally, but I must have, in my own weird ways..
I stopped questioning about his sudden departure.
Surely everything happens for a reason, even if I cannot fathom it now.

I think I'm okay now, singing his favourite songs at KTV.

that  I can talk about daddy normally without cracking up.. I am also quite skilled in changing topics conversationally when it gets touchy.

However, I do get moodier before my trips to China.
It is something that I cannot avoid.

I visited the area that he passed away in my recent trip, and I'd be reminded of things he tells me, and what he has done for me. Sometimes it gets a little painful, after all, China memories with dad seems pretty specific for me. In singapore, it is more like a shared property with the siblings and mom, if you get what I mean.

With daddy gone, It does get pretty awesome perk wise tho.
Whenever I head over to the temple, aside from saying hello to the gods, and thank them for taking care of all my precious and I,
I'd also throw in an additional liner for them to send my regards over for daddy.
#godiscool #moreAirtimewiththegods

Also, It's like the 7th month (hungry ghost festival) right now, and I feel no fear!
Hey! my daddy's here to protect me. I'll just need to scream Daddy! and he'll appear to smack the ghost away.
Wahahahah. wtf!
(kidding)

Whenever I'm in China, in the past - I'll stay out anything from midnight to 3am, either working in the office, massage, KTV, supper, movies, bunk into random hotels with friends and crawl my way back home to daddy's at 6am in the morning.
Uhuh..

In recent trips without daddy around, I will get nagged at alot more about being back in the hotel before 11pm. -_-"
Alright. in response to my past activities,
I now watch tv in my own room and press my own feet singing all by myself~ by Celine Dion.
lol.
In truth, I'll just raid the supper stalls located right outside my hotel, and stuff myself silly with the cheap yummy food until my tummy forbids me from eating more.
#cheapEntertainmentInchina

As I was saying earlier, I was in China on the first day of the 7th month.
Mom texted me a reminder to be back early. I detect additional smugness in her text.
It's as if the hungry ghost festival gave her reminder a 10% power up.
Tsk.

In anycase, I kind of fancy the idea that Daddy's back at home hovering around, enjoying and doing his own thing, and I also noticed that the dog is sitting/begging to blank spaces of late.
Its only something that she does, when people are talking to her, or when she wants something (usually food) from me.
Now she does it at a far distance from me. Like sits outside my room, when i'm in the kitchen?
I'm not trying to spook anyone out here, but its just a new trend I noticed with le doggles.

Alright, enough rattling.
It's odd, I shan't share to scare.
I need to get back to work, or crawl into bed.
adios

Marina Barrage

Le boyfie and I went exploring at the Marina Barrage sometime back, and it was a tad sad that we didn't bring a kite along with us + the kite shop was closed that day.

We resorted to strolling around, I sort of threw a mini tantrum/grumble about the stuffy and hot weather after awhile.

According to DL he claims that there are mainly 3 problems that would cause grumpyness in le Daphne

1. lack of sleep / having to wake up too early in the morning
2. lack of food/water
3. too much sun (which essentially would be the morning sun) - anyone who's slept in my room would definitely understand why I hate the morning sun so much.
My mood improves considerably as the sun settles off for the day + not having to slather on sunblock along with fretting for the freckles aids the mood.

hurhurhur.

My mood improved when we got up to the green roof, instead of the stuffy hot basement area that was insanely un-touristy.

I am currently fixated on my recent 不求人 (beg no one) photo project, where I make le boyfie pose in a series of shots, after which, we would swop roles and I'll position myself somewhere nearby where he was standing previously, then do my thing!

It's kind of fun, but le boyfie's got this grumbly thing about my insistence that the camera angles CANNOT be changed! It's not so awesome for him, because the camera angle is probably suited better for my height, instead of his! (Well the perks of being the shorter one here)

This, essentially could be solved by bringing a tripod +  camera + remote out.
Seriously, the weight hassle of lugging everything along will kill/annoy me, though I'm not sure which (the weight or the hassle) will spark off first! :D

In any case, here's the latest series of our beg-no-one pictures.
It's definitely better than the garden bench one that I posted sometime back, and
you can say that you've seen them here first, since I have yet to load them up onto instagram or Facebook.
*smirks*

Hello!

Hello!
It has really been a while since I last attempted to draft and post an entry.
Most of them really do end up half written in drafts, and I am feeling extremely guilty about this.

Life, is as it is...
I'd say busybusybusy in brief.
Juggling DA models along with AD (really just Addadress for short), is really something.
I'm trying to get my act up, with the balancing and equilibrium, of which when I focus on one, I will feel as if i'm short changing the other.
I bet this must really be how a parent with 2 or more kids might actually feel!
Rwar!

Nobody sees the days where I slog behind the macbook...
editing pictures from the product shoots,
or the days where I upload new products onto the backend system, and the process is soooo tedious and back breakingly boring...
Hmmm, or slogging like a hardworking blue collared worker.

I spent 10 days packing goods from office in China, in preparation for my goods to be freight back to Singapore.
Unpacking and re-sorting the goods when they arrive in Singapore...while answering the enquires related to DA to clients.
I am a person of many talent! *rolls eyes*

Don't get me wrong. 

I'm not complaining here! 

I'm just sharing a glimpse of my behind-the-scenes, that I rarely shoutout anywhere..

However! I do make time for myself to catch up with myself, my friends and spend time with le boyfriend. 

It is extremely important, to reward myself and prevent myself being burnt out.

Lucky ducky, this is merely a portion of the job scope involved. There's CL to stomach the remaining volume of work, to keep me sane and comforted.

Thank god.

Gosh, sometimes I seriously, seriously would prefer to sit around and just boss people around, enjoy a good book, follow up on blogs, fix my nails, face mask, gossip.
Who doesn't?
*smirk*

Oh! and oh!
On positive news, we've been working with Zalora, and I must say that being involved with Zalora Market place, somehow affirms and strengthens my online scene in terms of gameplay.

Because Addadress.sg is still in its infant stage, there are time where I despair in terms of driving traffic to my site and I indulge myself in lots of self doubts and uncertainty as a result of my own expectations.

Yet somehow, working with an online retailer that's waaaay bigger and focussed than AD, I'd say that what I have done to build AD,  and the requirements that I have set, seems to be on the same track as Zalora!
Awesome right?
Motivated!

Im in the midst of preparing for yet another product shoot, as well as a look book session.
Finalizing the details seems to be a hassle.

Timeline is short, and it seems like flying off is in the plan for work again. :D
---

On other news, adjusting to life with le boyfriend seems to take some getting used to.
Good days are great, bad days are dramatic!
I'd say we are both learning to live with each other, without attempting to cut throats or strangle with frustration!
I know I'm quite the drama queen with the way I say it, but truth is that it really isn't easy,
where each of us learns to communicate our thoughts, values, and lifestyle expectations to each other in a short span of time in depth.
In brief, happy as a lark, or annoyed like Mr green the hulk(me).
We don't do in between. :/
Hahaha.

There are many things that I am thankful for, especially with the way he accommodates to my lifestyle, the amount of patience he bestows to me when I am being difficult...

Like, helping me out with chores that I detest or procrastinate!

There's Trixie cleaning for example, along with Trixie feeding, playing with Trixie when I am boggled down by work.
Feeding me when I'll usually skip meals
Entertaining my mom and brother, building my new bought bed from ikea,
Setting up store racks for AD's pop up store, buying me bubble tea during store hours and giving me 'constructive' feedbacks

Pushing me to be more punctual than what I already am, haha.

Of course like a pendulum that swings, there are plenty of days where I feel like killing him too.
Double edge sword huh?

I am working really hard on my ego and pride and patience and quick+fabulous temper.
But so challenging. Tsk!

Here's a random picture of us on peaceful happy days, edited by yours truly. :D

Alright, bedtime! Another day spent in the warehouse, packing and stock counting like a dirty dusty itchy girl.

The not-so-secret diaries of Daphne the warehouse girl.
Til the next time!
ciao!

Xoxo

Journey

I thought this made a relatively funny picture. 

Despite the fact that the exposure of the picture is off, 

the rays of the sun, the dress floating/flapping behind me as I walk and talk, made it seem as if I am entering a marathon in the wrong running gear.

I am where I need to be at.

Albeit a little too lazy for my own liking, I will get to my destination eventually.

It's not all about the destination, but the journey to get there.

Travel too quickly, you will end up missing the gorgeous scenery that comes along with the journey. 

Travel too slowly, and it seems like you'll never reach *frustrated*

At the moment, I'm entering new terrains with new tasks to accomplish that I'm unused to.

Who knows where it will lead me to?

As long as I believe in it, as long as I keep going at it (within a definite time), 

I'm pretty sure the path less trodden is kinda more exciting and less congested.

Lots of experiments and brain storming has been swarming in my head.

Overthinking and hating to fail is a really bad combination. 

However,  a wise man in the form of daddy once said

"做多错多，不做就没错."

The more you do/try, the more mistakes you will be prone to make. 

If you choose not to budge and do anything, there wouldn't be any mistakes made at all.

Indeed. 

I am not perfect, but I am learning to embrace each day's task with more enthusiasm and to think and fret less. 

I am thankful for many goodness that I am surrounded with, but for this instance, I am thankful for the constant support that CL has given to me all these while, and DL for telling me that he will support me in my decisions.

At the moment, they are like my right and left, and my companions in my choice of journey.

Together, these two people have the magical ability to push me to places I'd usually say no to.

Therefore I'd say things are shaping up fine, and I am looking forward to being a noob mermaid in October, and til then -  lots of work waiting for me to accomplish!

I am my biggest enemy to my own marathon (in heels and a pretty dress). I will complete the task I have set out for myself without being Miss Inertia-Lazy-Bones Lee.

:)

First quarter of the year has passed just like that.

Life is good the way it is, but I would not say no to BETTER!
:)
With a couple of birthday celebrations in tow at the start of the year, and my impromptu trip to Bangkok with the bestie, the first quarter was definitely fun and fruitful.
I started coughing a few days after my birthday / before my trip to Bangkok, and the cough never seem to have gotten better.

Fast forward a little, and I fell really ill last week.
it was like Wham!
I was down with fever. It was an unusual, crippling sort of fever that I am unaccustomed to.
I'm usually the sort of girl who'll still be running around town even if i'm sick or feverish.

Well, like I said, it is really different this time round.
My system crashed.
It was 4 days worth of fever, drugs and sleep.
I have always thought that I was good at sleeping for long stretches, yet falling so ill, totally reinvented the term "sleeping for long stretches".

I could not do anything, aside from sleeping, I was too sick to function.
I barely ate. Surviving mostly on liquid.
I guess it was lucky that DL was around because I wasn't functioning at all.

He lugged me to the doctor (because *sheesh* doctors are for the weak)
Spoke to the doctor on my behalf ( I was barely functional seated on the chair inhaling and exhaling for the doctor to probe and diagnose )
Bought lunch and stuffed it into my system,
lugged me home, and forced me to eat my medication, and seriously the cycle repeats pretty much.
It was wake up, eat meds, food, throw up, and lots of sleep x 4 days
Basically le bf was my personal nurse for 4 whole days.

My fever was so bad that mommy and DLwas beginning to suspect that I'm suffering from a case of Dengue.

I was so close to going back to the doctors to get blood test, and a jab for fever, despite my fear for needles.
Luckily things took a turn for the better.
I guess it was just the cough blowing out of proportion.
So drama.

After 4 days of lousy appetite and I realised that my shorts are noticeably looser than they need to be.
The minute I became better, le boyfriend brought me out to eat a buffet.
I was eating and eating and always hungry. It is as if I am making up for lost time.
It's been barely a week, and I've whacked up 2 buffets to date.

I reckon that the weight has been piled back since, at the rate I am eating.


May I not be THIS sick ever again!
Thank you very much.

That yellow pill in the picture is the grossest invention ever!
It's apparently an antibiotics meant particularly for respiratory infections.
It made me sicker than I need to be, left a bad taste at the back of my tongue, caused nausea, and in general caused food aversion.

Well I am So happy to be done with medication and fever!
Just minimal coughing and phlegm.
Life is good, but I won't say no to BETTER!

Growing up

It is close to a month since my birthday has passed, and despite everything being awfully quiet here, I have to say that I'm rather happy to keep my life offline and just enjoy the present.


Been reading the time keeper by Mitch albom and at this moment, I'd like time to be just the way it is.
Of course with every new milestone in age, there would be new objectives, new work agendas, adventures to explore and new chapters to jot down, with food and places to explore with my favourite people, but lastly in line with one of the birthday wishes that was conveyed to me,
May I always have time for the best things in life. 

yes I'll like that very much. :)


Meanwhile, excuse me while I busy myself with the backend work of www.addadress.sg
here's a picture of Tiger getting himself into some toilet trouble, and my recent 2 ootd post wearing AD my way (not that Add-a-dress isn't styled by me, but you get it!)

~Daph

February..

In a blink of the eye, its close to mid of February.
It's been slightly more than a month since my last entry, and I have to admit that
It's been sparkly clean and quiet in here.
I'm back on one of my posting dry spells. The drafts that I tried writing, they seem to be getting to nowhere.

so how about we do things the easy peasy way, with just little basic updates.


The 5 newborn kittens that I took in on my brother's birthday last month, we're down to just Tiger.
The rest of his litter mates have since perished in a case of suspected Parvovirus.
It was not easy to bottle feed the newborns every few hours, and it was even more painful to watch the newborns fade off into nothingness, with barely a taste of living a life.

It broke my heart to watch them leave one after another.
These days, watching and meeting death seems to get me thinking a lot.
Survival of the fittest has found its true meaning.

With Silver being the first to leave, I was sad.
Yet, it was a terrible blow to me, to discover Heather dead when I woke up the next morning.
I thought the worst was over once they've passed the crucial 2-3 weeks.
I was wrong.
Tauriel and Precious passed away, and there was Hammie (a singleton who was abandoned from his litter) who also left being barely a couple of days old.
It was a terrible test of faith.
I felt like a cat killer - I wanted the kittens to be gone, so they didn't need to die in my hands.

I learnt that Life and death isn't at my beck and call.
It never was.
I always assumed that they were meant to live, which is why they found their way to me.
But I was wrong, and in it, I was broken.

However, The brother said to me when he helped me out with the tiny bodies..
"at least they had someone to love them in replacement of their dead mom"
"at least they knew what it was like to be living in a home, to be loved and cared for"
"at least, they had a chance to live, despite how short it was"

I remembered why I wanted to take in foster animals and the hurt that I was willing to subject myself through for the greater good.
It doesn't matter how many times my heart gets broken, so long as precious lives are saved.
I'll keep doing what I need to do, as long as it is meant for them to come into my way - I'll just keep doing what I need to do.

Everyday that I wake up to a wailing Tiger demanding to be let out for walks in the room, food and comfort from me, I am humbled and reminded of the little blessings in life.
How something as mundane as feeding is a blessing that I couldn't ask for more.

Life is short.
YOLO, so live it well people and never take anything or anyone for granted.

Ending off with a cute picture of the feline rascal.
When I leave him to free roam in the bedroom without supervision, I will usually find him nestled in this little grey dress that he has taken a fancy to.

Watching him explore the room, being creeped out by shadows, chomping my fingers with his newly grown set of teeth and clawing the daylights out of my hands, I am thankful that he has survived this far.
Having just introduced mushed up kibbles into his diet, I look forward to the day he would be chasing laser pointers, battling feathers, toys and finding his way into his new home and the arms of his new owners. :)